This door is not currently functioning. Do not attempt to open this door.
As we’re wheeling a trauma patient to the CT scanner:
Patient: You guys find the money in my boot?
Doctor: Yeah, we found it and will keep it safe for you.
Patient: All $500,000 of it?
In a patient who suffered a gunshot wound and underwent laparotomy with organ repair:
“Doctor, how big were the wounds inside?”
“About 9mm, sir.”
Christmas Eve dinner was Olive Garden on the beach at dusk, followed by a romantic evening wrapped in a blanket watching the waves and ocean birds with my girl.
A man and his wiener dog enjoying the ocean breeze.
Party Time Hexcellent asked:
”A squirming hydra for medical and laboratory use.” OK, tell me straight up—what medical use does this animated GIF have? Will this be applied to my skin or used to diagnose me? NEED ANSWER ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Practically Sorcery response:
While the diagnostic use of the hydra GIF is limited, its therapeutic potential is ubiquitous amongst medical subspecialties.
The starfish-like regenerative physiology of the hydra allows for accelerated wound healing when applied topically or injected.
The aggressive deep-clean scrubbing action of the ciliated head is able to sterilize wounds of difficult polyresistant bacterial organisms.
Hydra extract is known to be synergistic with probiotic therapy and can reduce flatulence and normalize bowel movements.
Phase I clinical trials are currently underway for possible silver bullet applications in oncology.
Common off-label uses include dental hygiene, earwax extraction, and colon cleansing.
Also an excellent source of protein.
The contemporary male chastity belt. Comes with collector’s edition tin.
And also because we’re getting sick of having to replace the damn nozzle.
